Task Master February 7, 2010
Posted by Amy in devotion.Tags: activity, relationships
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I was a reserve officer in a Sheriff’s mounted patrol for a few years. Each year, Ernie and I went through qualifying exercises to make sure he wouldn’t spook around balloons, strollers, squad cars, guns, etc.; and could navigate a wide array of obstacles.
Ernie was most challenged by backing through wood posts shaped in an “L” (next to weaving the odorous and sparkling flares.) (Horses have a blind spot behind them, so backing up isn’t always comfortable.) We spent hours practicing this manuever. At times, we battled with both of us frustrated and angry, losing all desire to please the other. All I wanted him to do was complete the task. All he wanted to do was go eat. We certainly were not enjoying each other at those moments.
Relationships vs. Tasks
Yesterday, sitting in the Healthy Relationships class at my church, I realized that I do this in my human relationships as well. I was convicted as I thought about my “honey-do” list for my boyfriend. He and I don’t see each other but once a week and rather than spend time with him, I put him to work around my house. Gee, I wonder why I feel like we don’t get quality time together?
In my type-A world, there’s always something to be done. One more project to cross off the to-do list. I’m not one for small talk and socializing, particularly when there’s a job to do. Unfortunately, that means at times I blow right by people’s needs and feelings, for the sake of the next project to complete. I get frustrated when people are pokey or not available on my timeline. I sacrifice rich relationships for activity. I know God would rather it be the other way around.
Jesus as our Example
Jesus made time for people even when it wasn’t convenient. He was often on his way somewhere when he healed someone. After getting the news of John the Baptist’s beheading, Jesus went away to mourn in private. A crowd of 5,000 followed him. He didn’t send them away but rather had compassion on them, taught them and fed them. (See Matthew 14.)
Eternal Perspective
Fulfilling relationships and moments require us to be engaged, present to others. We need to maintain perspective that the person is much more important than the task – an eternal perspective. What do you accomplish if you complete a project but destroy a relationship? So my shower drain is fixed. Was it worth the sacrifice of connection?
Long-term fulfillment comes from relationships. Not in stuff. Not in work. Not in accomplished projects. Maintaining an eternal perspective can really help us prioritize.
Which is it? February 3, 2010
Posted by Amy in random thoughts.Tags: discernment, God's will, peace, prayer, wisdom
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I’m perplexed.
It often happens when I face a major life decision. I pray asking God to show me his will. James 1:5 says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” God, please give me wisdom. Soon!
I’ve gone round and round, analyzing the whys, what fors, shoulds and should nots of this decision and still it’s not clear what I should do. I’m trying to be patient and wait on God’s direction. The waiting is stressing me out.
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.”
I don’t have a lot of peace around the situation.
Here’s the dilemma:
Am I not at peace about this decision because God is telling me that saying yes would be wrong? Or am I not at peace because I have listened to the devil’s lies that tell me I don’t deserve this, I can’t afford it, it’s impractical or it doesn’t honor God? The devil, after all, doesn’t want us to be happy or see our dreams come true and I am well-versed at believing Satan’s lies.
So, which is it? I’m torn. God, please give me wisdom!
Would you mind praying for me to know God’s will? Perhaps God will give you insight on my behalf.
John 8:44 (NLT): “[The devil] was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NLT): “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”
Managing Expectations February 1, 2010
Posted by Amy in devotion.Tags: broken relationships, disappointment, expectations, love
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I’ve been riding Ernie for 14 years now. I know him and can predict his behavior in most situations. I know what to expect of him. When he doesn’t respond the way I’m accustomed or acts differently than in the past, we have a frustrating ride. It’s a tug of war of wills – he’s trying to figure out what I want and I’m trying to figure out what he’s trying to do. For both of us, it’s not a pleasant experience. If only we could talk through our expectations before our rides.
It’s the same with people, whether it’s an employer, client/customer, a family member or a friend. We have expectations – how they’ll act, how they’ll treat us, how they’ll respond in certain situations. And we have preconceived notions of what they expect of us.
Damage Control
When expectations between two parties are not in alignment, relationships become stressed. Hurt feelings, anger, disappointment. Sometimes those that we encounter could meet our expectations if they only knew what they were. Others are not willing or capable of meeting our expectations. In either case, we could save ourselves a lot of heartache and frustration if we’d discuss openly our expectations. Instead, we avoid those conversations because it might be uncomfortable. A few minutes of discomfort, however, would save much strife later.
Repairing the Damage
I’m reeling from unmet expectations today. I hurt someone because this person expects something of me of which I was not aware. Now that I know what’s expected of me, I know that at this point I’m not capable or willing to go there. That may change in time. Nonetheless, I’m regretful for the hurt I’ve caused and the fracture it has caused in our relationship. I now have to try to repair the damage.
Thankfully, when it comes to our faith, we know what God expects because it’s laid out for us in the Bible. “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-40 (NLT)
In John 13, Jesus said, “I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you…Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.”
In all we do, Jesus is our example. When we follow his example, we’ll be blessed. He showed us that love is both the way to and the goal of peaceful relationships.
Who can you talk to about expectations before frustration and hurt take place? When will you have that conversation? Make a plan. It’s important.
Fear of the Unknown January 29, 2010
Posted by Amy in devotion.Tags: Christians, fear, horses
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(c) 2010, Amy S. Lewis
Living in Minnesota and working in a white collar career, people are often surprised that I own a horse. Occasionally, people tell me how afraid they are of horses – they’re big, unpredictable and strong, they say. They fear them because they may kick or bite or be uncontrollable. Over the years, I’ve come to understand these people are afraid of horses because they’re not familiar with them. They’ve not had any experience with a horse. And they certainly have never learned how to ride and rein a horse. They haven’t given horses a chance.
Or, I get another story…they rode once and had a bad experience. Judging all horses to be the same as the one who “done them wrong,” they never go near a horse again.
How many people around us give God the same treatment or have negative perceptions of Christians? Could it be that those who are not yet believers simply don’t know God? That they haven’t given Him a chance? That they hold false perceptions of what it means to be a Christian? Or maybe, they’ve had a bad experience at a church or with a Christian they perceive to be a hypocrite and haven’t gone back? Just like someone introduced you to horses and helped you become familiar with them, so too, do those around us need someone to tell them about Christ – to break their maligned perceptions of Christians and God by living out our faith in our words and actions.
In Acts 3 and 4, Peter taught of salvation through faith in Christ with great excitement, empowered by the Holy Spirit. Many heard the message and believed. They had not previously believed because they had not yet heard.
Romans 10:14-15 says, “But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? 15 And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, ‘How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!’”
Who will you tell of Christ today? Who can you help grow in their faith or get over a negative experience at a church or with another Christian? People will never get over their fears or lose their false perceptions of God until we give them a reason to by telling them who God really is and how much He loves us, and then demonstrate His love by the way we live. Just as someone with a fear of horses will gradually become more comfortable around a horse after being exposed to one, so too will people become more comfortable with Christians and Christ after spending time with Christians truly living for God. Will you be the person that makes a difference in someone’s life today?
Questions for reflection:
1. What unknown activity do you fear that is holding you back from life to the fullest? What might be the result if you overcame that fear?
2. Who in your life may be rejecting God for fear of the unknown? How can you reach out to them today and introduce them to God?
3. How can you help unbelievers around you see Christians more favorably today?
Denominations January 27, 2010
Posted by Amy in random thoughts.Tags: Christians, denomination, division, unity
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I cast my vote. I gave my church permission to leave its denomination.
Ninety-two percent of the members who voted agreed with me.
Relevance?
The historic vote and its lopsided results cause me to reflect on role of denominations in today’s society. In the western world, it seems we have become less tolerant and more skeptical of big business and big brother. My generation, Gen X, and Gen Y reject conformity and tradition to a large degree. So what role will denominations have in the future of the Church?
Founding
Philosophical differences have divided churches through the years, creating splinter groups that ultimately become new denominations. One of the Kings of England didn’t like Catholicism, so the Church of England was started. Martin Luther didn’t agree with the piety of Catholicism either, resulting in the Luther(an) denomination. John Wesley developed new approaches to religious study, which became Methodism.
Scriptural
Every congregation has its own culture and style of worship but to divide God’s Church by denominations seems counter-productive and not based in scripture. I’ve read through the Bible quite a few times and have never found a single reference to denominations. If I’ve missed it, please let me know. I see instead many instances when Paul tells the first century church to be united in the Holy Spirit and bound together with peace.
Romans 15:5-6 (NLT): May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Christians
First and foremost we are Christians — followers of Jesus Christ. By focusing on our differences rather than our commonalities, we continue to divide God’s Church. And Satan loves when God’s people are divided because it hurts our credibility with non-believers. We are much more effective when working together and setting aside our differences.
Usefulness
I realize that denominations can serve useful purposes – mission and relief work, and fundraising, for starters. I expect they’ve helped establish many churches by providing guidance on process, evangelism and structure. All positive contributions.
Perhaps my church has just outgrown the need for denominational structure. Our congregation generously supports mission work and missionaries around the world. We send a dozen or so teams on short-term mission trips each year. After nearly 30 years, we have structure in place. Our Vision Board and team of pastors are prayerfully dependent on the Holy Spirit in governing the church.
What do you think? Do denominations have a place in the future of the church or will they become less relevant in the future?
Being Right Comes at a Cost January 25, 2010
Posted by Amy in devotion.add a comment
Ernie has a stubborn streak. Once in a great while he refuses to get into the trailer. He’s been known to persist at trotting or prancing in spite of my requests to walk. At times, he bites down on the bit and forcefully turns back toward the barn without my consent. He digs in his heels and tries to do what he wants. He wants to have his own way.
Why? And at what cost? I always succeed at loading him into the trailer when he’s stubborn. When he doesn’t walk when I ask, I continue to pull back on the reins, causing pressure in his mouth. When he demands that we go back to the barn, I always spin him around and continue in the opposite direction. He has yet to “win.” He eventually submits to me. And yet his need to have his own way and refusal to submit to me often means his own discomfort (from the bit). It also means strife in my relationship with him.
Being Right Comes with a Cost
I tend to have stubborn streaks, too. I always have to be right. Why? And at what cost? My need to be right doesn’t serve any purpose except to make me feel smarter or better and superior while others feel belittled. It causes a lot of discomfort and conflict in my relationships. I gain nothing and lose much all because I have a point to prove. Do share this struggle with me? Do recognize when you do it?
Led by Human Nature
My need to be right leads to greater arrogance and self sufficiency. It’s evidence that my human nature leads my life, not the Holy Spirit. I read the words of Galatians 5:19-21 from the Message and cringe: “It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.”
Submission
Whoa. Basically, following my human nature and clinging to my need to be right can lead to self destruction. Not good. Instead, I need to submit to the Holy Spirit, just like Ernie submits to me. Then I will love people the way we’re called to love. I will have more peace in my relationships. Then
Letting Go
Is it really important to be right? What do I have to prove? What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t cling to my opinions or knowledge? If I really must be right, is there a way to humbly present my argument without being condescending, confrontational or just plain ugly? How will others feel if I “let” them be right even when I know (or think) they’re not? Might they feel respected? Loved? Smart? Imagine.
If you share this struggle with me, I challenge you to let it go. The next time you disagree with someone, just let them be right for the sake of the relationship. And watch for the results. Did the other person react? Did they notice? How did you feel? Was there greater peace and less confrontation in your relationships? Did you lose anything by letting them be right? Let me know what happens.
Colossians 3:12-14: Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NLT): Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way.
Hygiene Kits for Haiti January 24, 2010
Posted by Amy in Other people's stuff.Tags: donation, GAIN, haiti, hygiene kits
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As you might imagine, the people of Haiti are in need of very basic supplies. Here’s a very practical way you can help — pack a hygiene kit for the Global Aid Network (GAiN). It’s simple. Here’s what you do:
Fill a 2-gallon zip-top bag with these NEW items:
Hand towel
Wash cloth
Toothpaste (4.6 oz or larger)
Bar of soap (in original package)
Comb
Wet wipes
Shampoo
Bandages (travel size or larger)
Tissues-2 travel packs
Feminine pads (travel pack)
$5 to assist with shipping
Completed kits can be dropped off at Hosanna! in Lakeville, MN, until Sunday, February 14. You can also mail your completed kits to:
Global Aid Network Distribution Center
1506 Quarry Road
Mount Joy, PA 17552
If you would rather not build the kits, you can make a $25 donation to help GAiN purchase supplies for and ship hygiene kits. Go to www.gainusa.org.
GAiN is the relief and development arm of Campus Crusade for Christ International.
For those of you who attend Hosanna, don’t forget that there will be a special offering for Haiti at services next weekend. The funds will be distributed to Compassion International, used for packaging meals at Hosanna on Saturday, March 6 and invested in mission teams that will be sent to Haiti in the future.
The Horses Prayer January 22, 2010
Posted by Amy in Other people's stuff.Tags: prayer
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(If you prefer, here’s an audio version.)
To Thee Master, I offer my prayer,
Feed me, water and care for me, and when the days work is done, provide me with shelter, a clean dry bed and a stall wide enough for me to lie down in comfort.
Always be kind to me. Talk to me. Your voice often means as much to me as the reins. Pet me sometimes, that I may serve you the more gladly and learn to love you.
Do not jerk the reins, and do not whip me when going uphill. Never strike, beat or kick me when I do not understand what you want, but give me a chance to understand you.
Watch me; and if I fail to do your bidding, see if something is wrong with my harness or feet.
I cannot tell you when I am thirsty so give me clean, cool water often. I cannot tell you in words when I am sick, so watch me, that by signs you may know my condition.
Give me all possible shelter from the hot sun, and put a blanket on me, not when I am working, but when standing in the cold. Never put a frosty bit in my mouth; first warm it by holding it a moment in your hands.
I try to carry you and your burdens without a murmur, and wait patiently for you long hours of the day or night. Without the power to choose my shoes or path, I sometimes fall on the hard pavements which I have often prayed might be of such a nature as to give me a safe and sure footing.
Remember that I must be ready at any moment to lose my life in your service.
And finally, O Master, when my useful strength is gone, do not turn me out to starve or freeze, or sell me to some cruel owner to be slowly tortured or starved to death; but do thou, my Master, take my life in the kindest way. And your God will reward you here and hereafter. You will not consider me irreverent if I ask this in the name of HIM, who was born in a stable.
Amen
Author Unknown
Vulnerability January 21, 2010
Posted by Amy in devotion.Tags: BSF, friendship, perceptions, vulnerability
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Horse people have a practice when their horses shy away from something, a boulder in Ernie’s case, in fear: they make their horses stop, look at the object and sniff it until they understand that it’s not something that’s going to harm them. Once the horse’s defenses go down – he stops snorting and his breathing returns to normal, they walk on. The controlled exposure in a safe environment helps them get past their fear – at least until they come upon the next big scary boulder along the trail.
Strangely, I find myself in similar situations lately. Flash back to Monday night…
I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay home and relax. It would have been so outside my character to play hookie from BSF. In addition to our regular class, our small group was gathering for dinner fellowship that night. I really didn’t want to go to fellowship because we always share pretty deep inner thoughts, feelings or shortcomings. I definitely didn’t want to go there.
Walls
During an afternoon run, however, I saw my resistance to BSF and fellowship as another wall I was putting up to protect myself from being known, hurt or disappointed. It’s a well-rehearsed routine for me that’s brought me a lot of acquaintances but very few deep friendships. I don’t let people see the “real” me because the real me is imperfect. The result is loneliness and isolation.
I realized I need to break down the walls. In Romans 12, Paul gives us a model for Christian living. It is a life of selflessness, love and relationships. My walls make my life inconsistent with Christianity.
Last week, I faced a similar situation at a church class. The leader mentioned passing out everyone’s contact information so we could connect between classes. My guard instantly went up. I thought, “I don’t want everyone having my information.” “I don’t want anyone calling me at home.” Again, I was shying away from connection for fear of getting hurt.
Safe Places
I went to BSF and fellowship on Monday night and I’m also going to let my church group have my phone number. I know these places are safe places to be vulnerable and become more comfortable connecting with people. It’s a controlled, safe situation where I can learn – just like our horses – that the source of my fear is not going to hurt me. Not every situation, not every group, however, is safe. BSF and my church group are safe because both abide by confidentiality. Both surround me with other Christians who will help me trust in God’s grace and strength to overcome my weaknesses. As I learn to be more vulnerable in these safe situations, it will become more comfortable in other areas of my life as well.
Positive Reinforcement
By the way, I was so uplifted by going to BSF on Monday. I felt rewarded for choosing to let people in. Just like with a horse, positive reinforcement goes a long ways in adopting a new behavior.
Romans 12:9-18 (NLT): Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
SWF Seeks Affirmation January 19, 2010
Posted by Amy in random thoughts.Tags: affirmation, God's will, perseverance, small beginnings
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You know one thing I hate about myself sometimes? I’m human and I can’t help it.
As such, I need validation and affirmation to persist at my work, my relationships, my writing. Without validation and affirmation, I get discouraged and grow weary. That’s where I am today.
I enjoy writing this blog. It gives me time with God and a chance to know him on a deeper level. As I write, he teaches me and speaks to me. That alone should be the validation I need to continue. Sadly, some days it’s not.
Worldly Validation
Sometimes I need more tangible/visible validation. For my blog that comes in the form of statistics and comments. Yes, every day I check the stats on my blog to see how many people read it. I get discouraged if the numbers are low. My ego is directly proportionate to the number of visitors on a given day.
I know I’m not alone. Bloggers obsess over numbers as much as ministries fixate on butts in seats. There have been many ministries and groups started in obedience to God. After dedicating time and energy to increasing attendance, visibility and sometimes funding, the founders grow weary when results are less than what they hoped. Many ministries fold before they have a chance to blossom.
Small Beginnings
In Zechariah 4:10, the Lord says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…”
Every effort for God starts small. Billy Graham or Joyce Meyer didn’t start their ministries with stadium-sized crowds. God will grow those efforts done in his will and in his name — in his time. We just need to begin the work and trust God to use it. He may not plan for our work, group or ministry to attract the most attention or biggest crowds. He may only want to use us to make a difference for one person — and that person may be ourselves.
Validation from God
Whatever work we do for God, we need to keep our eyes focused on him and seek glory only for his name’s sake. Our work is about God, not us. As hard as it is, we need to seek only his validation. He knows when we grow weary and will cause someone to offer us the affirmation we crave.
What work do you need encouragement in today? How has God encouraged you to continue your work in the past? Would you share with a comment (and indulge my need for human validation)?
Galatians 6:9 (NLT): So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
1 Corinthians 15:58 (NLT): So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.
