Forgiveness June 28, 2009
Posted by Amy in random thoughts.Tags: God's love
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I have high expectations of myself. At times, these expectations have helped me succeed in new endeavors and business. Sometimes though my expectations cause me to be disappointed in myself.
It’s a destructive pattern. I mull over my mistakes repeatedly, replaying the details and the humiliation again and again. Why did I say that? Why didn’t I do this instead? What was I thinking? It’s sickening. And yet, I have not yet figured out how to forgive myself for my mistakes. I’m certainly not Jesus and therefore am not perfect, so I why would I expect perfection in everything I do?
My eyes were opened recently to how hurtful this behavior is. I saw the weight of self condemnation and unforgiveness in someone else. I wept along with this person, only for different reasons. My heart broke for her because she didn’t see how God had already forgiven her. The Spirit told me He’d already forgiven her and his heart was breaking for the way she was treating herself. If God had forgiven her, why was she still carrying the burden of shame and guilt?
I realized later that I was basically looking in the mirror. I have been in that place many times and never felt God’s forgiveness because I was mired in my own shame. I was so busy beating myself up, I couldn’t possibly hear from God. God used that situation to help me understand how ugly my unforgiveness toward myself really is. I’m thankful my eyes have been opened. Maybe now I’ll be little less severe on myself because I know that God has forgiven me and he doesn’t want me to be living in self-condemnation.
Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No condemnation from ourselves, from others, from Satan.
Forgiveness may not always be deserved; sometimes it’s a gift. When we give that gift, whether to ourselves or another, we’re modeling the greatest gift ever — God’s forgiveness of us.
Fear of the Unknown June 21, 2009
Posted by Amy in devotion.Tags: christianity, fear
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(c) 2009, Amy S. Lewis
Living in Minnesota and working in a white collar career, people are often surprised that I own a horse. Occasionally, people tell me how afraid they are of horses – they’re big, unpredictable and strong, they say. They fear them because they may kick or bite or be uncontrollable. Over the years, I’ve come to understand these people are afraid of horses because they’re not familiar with them. They’ve not had any experience with a horse. And they certainly have never learned how to ride and rein a horse. They haven’t given horses a chance.
Or, I get another story…they rode once and had a bad experience. Judging all horses to be the same as the one who “done them wrong,” they never go near a horse again.
How many people around us give God the same treatment? Could it be that those who are not yet believers simply don’t know God? That they haven’t given Him a chance? That they hold false perceptions of what it means to be a Christian? Or maybe, they’ve had a bad experience at a church or with a Christian they perceive to be a hypocrite and haven’t gone back? Just like someone introduced you to horses and rodeos and helped you become familiar with them, so too, do those around us need someone to tell them about Christ – to break their maligned perceptions of Christians and God by living out faith in our words and actions.
In Acts 3 and 4, Peter shared the salvation message of Christ with great excitement, empowered by the Holy Spirit. Many heard the message and believed. They had not previously believed because they had not yet heard.
Romans 10:14-15 says, “But how can they call on Him to save them unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they have never heard about Him? And how can they hear about Him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, ‘how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’”
Who will you tell of Christ today? Who can you help grow in their faith or get over a negative experience at a church or with another Christian? People will never get over their fears or lose their false perceptions of God until we give them a reason to by telling them who God really is and how much He loves us, and then demonstrate His love by the way we live. Just as someone with a fear of horses will gradually become more comfortable around a horse after being exposed to one, so too will people become more comfortable with Christians and Christ after spending time with Christians truly living for God. Will you be the person that makes a difference in someone’s life today?
Questions for reflection:
1. What fear in your life is holding you back from knowing the love of God more completely and life to the fullest? How can you give that fear to the Lord?
2. How can you help unbelievers around you see Christians more favorably today?
3. Who in your life may be rejecting God for fear of the unknown or because of a bad experience at a church or with a Christian? How can you reach out to them today and introduce them to God or help them move beyond their negative experience with church and Christians?
A woman and her truck June 16, 2009
Posted by Amy in random thoughts.add a comment
I’m ashamed to admit it. I love my truck.
I’m generally not a materialistic person. My clothes are dated. My house isn’t the biggest or newest among my friends. My everyday car is scratched and dented from its previous owner and doesn’t have a single automated function on it (did you know they still make cars without cruise control, auto locks and intermitten wipers?). I don’t need the latest and greatest of everything. You won’t find a flat screen digital TV in my house.
But you will find a 3/4 ton GMC Sierra Duramax diesel parked in my garage. The clattering of the engine is a tell-tale sign of its power and usefulness. My horse trailer is like a feather behind my truck. (If I were a man, I’d probably grunt after that comment.) It has all of the bells and whistles, including heated leather seats. I am a queen in my chariot when I drive my truck. Did I mention I love my truck?
I baby it. It only comes out during riding season when I need to pull the trailer, or when I have an important client to drive around. I like to believe I baby it because it was expensive and I want it to last for a long, long time.
But it’s just an inanimate object. A piece of metal. A tool for hauling stuff or pulling my trailer. A material possession that will one day wear out like all the others.
Recently on a Christian talk show, I heard someone ask “What in your life are you holding too tightly? What is it that God wants you to let go of?” I knew immediately it was my truck.
I believe that God has provided everything for us. All of our wealth and provision come from his hand. He even brings the people into our lives to bless us. That means I am just a steward of his possessions. Everything that I have belongs to him and should be available for his service. My love for and over protection of my truck are completely inconsistent with my Christian beliefs.
After hearing the radio show, I recalled an incident of the previous week when someone suggested another person borrow my truck for moving. I cringed at the suggestion and shamelessly directed a dirty look to the person making the suggestion. I quickly realized what God wanted me to do. Let go of my claim on my truck.
I offered my truck for moving. Later that day, I offered the truck to my uncle who needed to take his boat to his cabin. A few days later, my cousin asked for the truck to move a dresser. Each time, I had thoughts of my truck coming back smashed up. I worried about them turning the truck on without waiting for the gloplugs to warm up (is that what gloplugs do?), or worse, putting unleaded fuel in my diesel truck. Then where would I be? I would be the one inconvenienced without my truck.
My truck was returned to me tonight. Unharmed. Motor still running. Tank full diesel fuel. Of course, all of my anxiety is for nothing. I’m still learning the lesson of letting go of my truck, and whatever and whomever else in my life I may be holding too tightly.
What in your life might you be holding too tightly? What of yours might God want to use to do his work? Will you turn it over to him?
Luke 12:15 (NLT) Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”
Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV): “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Ernie’s Vision June 7, 2009
Posted by Amy in devotion.Tags: God's love, grace, judging others
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(c) Amy S. Lewis, 2009
I wish I could see things through Ernie’s eyes sometimes. Then I might understand why giant rocks make him shudder or fallen logs or stumps seem so scary. What would it be like to see things in monocular vision? If I could see things through his eyes, I’d likely have a new understanding of my horse, be better able to communicate with him and be more patient with him.
I also wish I could see situations and people through God’s eyes, since I know that He sees them differently than I often do.
Isaiah 55:8-9 reads, “My thoughts are completely different from yours,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”
Perhaps if I could see circumstances and people through God’s eyes, I’d be less judgmental and critical. Situations wouldn’t seem daunting like boulders are to Ernie. Maybe I’d be more loving, understanding and gracious. I suspect I’d have a better sense of God’s love for me and others in this world.
In the Old Testament we see many examples of how God protects and blesses people, prophets and kings who pursue righteousness. He described David as a man after God’s own heart. (1 Samuel 13:14). In Genesis 6, Noah consistently followed God’s will and enjoyed a close relationship with him, which earned him the honor of building the ark and saving mankind.
Like these Biblical examples, the closer I am to God by studying scripture and committing myself to prayer, the better able I am to understand His will and His heart for people and for me. I will never fully comprehend all there is to know of God but I know that as I walk more closely with Him, I am more accepting of people. I am more patient. I trust God more and worry less. I have an eternal perspective on worldly matters. I become more focused on pursuing His will.
James 4:8, “Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.”
1 Corinthians 2:10, “But we know these things because God has revealed them to us by His Spirit, and His Spirit searches out everything and show us even God’s deep secrets.“
Questions for reflection:
1. Who in our lives might look differently through the eyes of God? What difference could it make in our relationships if we saw people through God’s eyes?
2. What blessings might we be missing out on because we’ve strayed from seeking God’s will and knowing His heart?
3. What activity brings you closer to the heart of God? Will you practice it this week with the purpose of seeing life and people through His eyes?
Gifts and Pride June 6, 2009
Posted by Amy in Uncategorized.Tags: Alpha, pride, Stacy Westfall, submission
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At the Alpha Holy Spirit day last weekend, I had the privilege of seeing a video of Stacy Westfall riding without a saddle and bridle. It’s an amazing video that has made me tear up every time I’ve watched it since. It’s an amazing picture of the horse’s submission to his rider and an incredible display of horsemanship and gentleness in communication. Stacy masterfully guided the horse through flying lead changes, sliding stops, spins and gate changes with such ease. God has obviously given her a gift for training and riding. Because of the viral nature of the Internet and YouTube, millions of people now know of Stacy and her skills. She’s become a sought-after speaker at horse events all over the U.S. (and probably beyond). Good for her.
The video was shown at the retreat because it is a picture of how God communicates with us. The more time we spend with God, the more we can understand where he’s guiding us in our lives and know how much he loves us. When we’re in his will, he gently leads us. When we live outside of his plan, purpose and will, he often allows difficulties to bring us back to him.
I have great deal of respect for Stacy and her skills. I also have a problem (well, two) with Stacy and her skills. Both of the problems come down to pride — my pride and her pride. My pride causes me to be envious of Stacy and her abilities. I wish I could direct my horse with minimal contact. Sheez, I wish I could ride a canter bareback for that matter. I suppose if I dedicated myself to riding my horse 2 hours every day as she has, I could ride a canter bareback, and Ernie and I would communicate better without so much reliance on the bit, reins and spurs. What I need to remember though is that God has gifted me with other skills and he values me and my skills just as much as he does Stacy’s.
Romans 12:6 implores each of us to use our individual gifts, whatever those gifts may be. When each of us is using our gifts, the collective result is a balanced, harmonious state. We are to use our gifts in cooperation with others.
My pride is just one part of my discomfort with Stacy’s performance. Her pride is the other. It rubs me the wrong way when Stacy ends her performances by standing on the horse’s back and taking a bow and revving up the crowd. She seems to want to draw attention to herself and gain the glory for her God-given gifts. Yes, she is very skilled. There are not many people who could accomplish what she has. Is her quest for a standing ovation necessary for her to know she had a great ride? Does it do anything for the crowd when she solicits that feedback? I would have greater respect for her if she simply ended her ride with a wave, or let the horse bow to the crowd, rather than trying to soak up the attention for herself.
1 Corinthians 1:31 (NIV): “Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”
Proverbs 11:2 (NIV): “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
If you haven’t seen Stacy’s ride, you can check it out here.
Let me know what you think of her ride.
The fullness of life June 4, 2009
Posted by Amy in random thoughts.Tags: fullness of life
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Jesus said in John 10:10 that his purpose in coming to earth was to give us life in all its fullness. In other translations, the Bible says that he came to give us life in abundance.
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what that means. What does an abundant life look like? What is life in all its fullness? I know what it’s not — it’s not being overscheduled. Unfortunately, that’s what I’m feeling right now. To have life in all its fullness, I need to define what that means.
To me, it means having a peace in all situations. It is having joy and a heart of gratitude for the people in my life. It is having balance between the “have to dos” and the “want to dos.” In a full life, I wouldn’t strive to prove myself. I would love myself more. I would love others more. I would be closer and more intimate with God and know his will for my life. My relationships would fill my heart to overflowing and would be peace filled. A utopian state.
What does the fullness of life mean to you? What do you think an abundant life looks like?
