Monthly Archives: November 2009

Grandma’s life revealed Christ

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I hope you’ll indulge me a bit this week, as I share memories of my grandma and the lessons I’ve learned from her. As I reflect on her life, I see her many Christ-like qualities and how we can learn from her even after her passing.

Like Christ, Grandma served and never expected or wanted to be served. She was a church organist for 51 years, sang in the choir and volunteered with the church’s women’s club. The heart of her service though was her family. She cared for my brother and me in our early years so that my mom could work. In my many memories of grandma, she’s wearing an apron and often in the kitchen. She prepared meals for her and grandpa to eat together. She loved holiday meals with the whole family. When her dining room was full of family, she was most fulfilled.

Matthew 20:28 (NLT): “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

She modeled Christ-like humility. She never wanted to be the center of attention. As the family surrounded her bed in her final days, we commented how she would hate us making a fuss over her. We wondered if she was waiting for everyone to leave before she would surrender to death. A week before her death she shrugged off my mom when she told grandma that she loved her.

Matthew 18:4 (NLT): “So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

I also recall her submitting to her husband as the Bible instructs women. She allowed grandpa to lead the family, to make decisions and to support the family. She contributed and had her say but she didn’t try to control everything. I have much to learn from her in this regard.

Ephesians 5:21-24 (NLT): And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

She was also very frugal. Having lived through the Great Depression, she was a good steward of resources and knew the difference between need and want. She reused tinfoil, plastic storage bags and rubber bands. She could make the most of the produce from the garden by canning tomatoes, green beans, peas, raspberries and strawberries. Rhubarb pie was often on the menu for dessert. She even made her own yogurt (which I can still taste today – nasty!). There wasn’t much processed or convenience foods around grandma’s house and I would be shocked if she ever went to a drive-thru.

She also was a ferocious knitter and all the grandchildren can likely remember a pair of mittens, a scarf or even an afghan that she made for them. (My afghan is draped over the chair in which I now sit.) She didn’t buy extravagant gifts for any of us; instead she gave us gifts of love that took her time to make. Today, I cherish those gifts and the love that went into making them. She knew we didn’t need all of the toys and brand name clothing money could buy. We really just needed love and warmth.

Matthew 6:19-20 (NIV): “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

In one of my most vivid memories, grandma scolded me for using the name of God in vain. “Don’t you swear!” she said. I was probably five at the time. Even then, saying “God” or “Jesus Christ” in an irreverent way was prevalent and accepted, and sadly, it is more so today. Now it makes me shudder when I hear someone abuse the name of God.

Exodus 20:7 (NLT): “You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God. The Lord will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name.”

As my grandma’s generation passes on, our society stands to lose sight of a simpler way of life — a way of life centered around God and family, not money and activities. My life looks much different than grandma’s. While I don’t have a husband or kids, I can still follow her example of servanthood, submission, stewardship and reverence to God. I could be half the woman that she was.

Jeremiah 6:16 (NLT): This is what the Lord says:
“Stop at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.
Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.
But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’”

Peace

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There is great peace surrounding me right now. I’m taking my turn at grandma’s bedside. The oxygen machine’s aerator is bubbling like a fish tank. Tranquil hymns played on the piano resound from the small boom box in the corner of the room. A large window just beyond grandma’s bed separates me from a bird feeder that draws finches, swallows and blue jays into view. Outside this room there’s the commotion of daily life at a nursing home. In this one-bed room, there’s only love and compassion. Quiet moments remembering all the time with my grandma. All that she taught me. How hard she worked to raise the family that now surrounds her in her final days.

These past few days have been precious. We’ve all had a chance to say goodbye. To compare our recollections of our youth around the farm. To say thank you. To come to peace with her passing.

And with each passing day, grandma’s breathing gets more shallow, more irregular, more peaceful. Soon, she will be healed of the dementia that has claimed her mind for the past several years and the physical pain that is now masked by morphine. Thanks to her faith in Jesus, she will soon know eternal peace, the peace that surpasses all human understanding.

Psalm 39:4-5 (NIV): “Show me, O LORD, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man’s life is but a breath.

Hebrews 13:14 (NLT): For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.
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Grandma passed away peacefully at 4:25 p.m. on November 15. Her breathing got slower and slower as life faded from her body. She died as simply and quietly as she had lived. She leaves a legacy of love and faith that our family will carry with us throughout our lives.

Edith Gertrude (Woods) Zehnder

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edith zehnder

Edith Zehnder 1917-2009

July 23, 1917- November 15, 2009

Edith Gertrude (Woods) Zehnder, 92, passed away peacefully on November 15 surrounded by family. Born in 1917 in Austin, Minn., Edith had an affinity for grammar and spelling, as evidenced by her spelling bee trophies as a youth and a senior, and a 10-year career as a proofreader for West Publishing.

Edith shared her musical talent as the organist at Salem United Methodist Church in Inver Grove Heights for 10 years and First United Methodist Church in South Saint Paul for 41 years, where she was active in the United Methodist Women and missions work. She also raised up many musical protégés during her 25 years as a piano teacher.

Family was the bedrock of her life. Her husband of 55 years, Cyrus, passed away in 1989. She is survived by children Bart (Joanne) of Oakdale; David (Cherine) of Maidenhead, England; Jill Lewis of Inver Grove Heights; and Laurie (Don) Dinger of Inver Grove Heights; 8 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren.

The family thanks the dedicated staff and caring volunteers at the Good Samaritan Society in Inver Grove Heights, who cared for Edith the last five years of her life.

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Goodbye, Grandma. We thank you for all you taught us, modeled for us and the legacy you leave behind. We will never forget you and will love you always. We thank God that you are in a better place tonight — a place where your mind and body are restored and you will suffer no more.

Paralyzed by Pride

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I sat in BSF on Monday night listening to the lecture on John 5, when Jesus healed the invalid at the pool of Bethesda. Jesus asked the man, “Do you want to be healed”? At first glance, it seems like the answer would be obvious. Jesus’ question went deeper then the surface though. Jesus was really asking, “Are you willing to set aside your fear and comfort zone and believe that your life can truly be changed”? The man, who had been disabled for 38 years, was comfortable being disabled because it was a life he knew.

I listened to that lecture and didn’t see the correlation to my life. It wasn’t until I wrote yesterday’s posting, “Paralyzed by Fear” that it occurred to me how blind I was. I was that man with the disability. On Monday night, Jesus was asking me, “Are you willing to set aside your fear and comfort zone to love unselfishly”?

I was paralyzed by fear on Sunday. On Monday, pride paralyzed me from seeing the application of the teaching to my life. Pride tells us we know all that we need to know. In reality, as long as we’re alive, we need to be open to learning and growing in nearly any situation, from nearly anybody, and particularly our spiritual leaders.

I’m more aware now that when I don’t seem to be learning, I need to examine my heart and hang up my pride. I thank God for opening my eyes. Is this just me or is there an area of your life too where pride is keeping you from peaceful relationships, offering forgiveness or going deeper in your faith?

Proverbs 24:3: By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Proverbs 16:18: Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Jeremiah 49:16: You have been deceived
by the fear you inspire in others
and by your own pride.
You live in a rock fortress
and control the mountain heights.
But even if you make your nest among the peaks with the eagles,
I will bring you crashing down,”
says the Lord.

P.S. Thank you for your prayers for my grandmother and our family. As of noon today, she continues to hang on.

Paralyzed by Fear

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I had all the excuses for not visiting my grandma at the nursing home. I was busy. I don’t like nursing homes. She doesn’t remember anyone anyway. I don’t want to remember her in a weakened state with no recollection of the life she’s lived. Really, I was caught up in my selfish little world. I was afraid, truthfully. Afraid of being uncomfortable.

I’m ashamed to admit that fear paralyzed me and kept me from loving as Christ lived and loved (loves).

An email last Friday morning shook me up. Mom said they were considering hospice care for grandma and if I wanted to see her before she died I should visit soon. Can you believe I still didn’t go? Mom reported that grandma improved over the weekend.

I prayed for the courage to go.

It took the 10 PM call on Tuesday night to jettison me into reality. The nursing home didn’t think she would make it through the night.

She did. And I went.

I got to the home before anyone else yesterday morning. I sat in grandma’s room watching her labor for her every shallow breath. She coughed incessantly trying to find relief from the fluid accumulating in her pneumonia-ridden lungs. She winced in pain as she coughed. I wonder if her physical pain was as excrutiating as my emotional pain? I forced myself to stay in her room even though I knew I could find relief from my discomfort by going to the family room at the end of the hall. I wanted to call someone to get there fast. Someone to share in my discomfort would surely ease my pain. I forced myself not to call.

Instead, I prayed God would steady her breathing, bring her physical comfort and quiet her cough. I asked for God’s presence to rest upon her. I prayed she would fall asleep.

Thank God, he answered my prayers. All of them. He gave me the courage to go. He gave me the strength to be uncomfortable in that place and do the only thing I could do for her: pray. And he answered those prayers for her physical comfort and sleep. I know his presence was in that room in a powerful way as well.

It appears grandma is on her last days. My prayers continue to be for her physical comfort, steady breathing and absence of a cough. They also include a request to bring her into eternal rest. She is 92 years old and has lived a full life. Yes, the family is sad. We have many memories of grandma that we will hold dear. We know death is a part of life though. Thankfully, we also know that we’ll see her again.

Has fear paralyzed you in some area of your life? Pray for the courage to step out of fear’s box. God will meet you there.

2 Timothy 1:7: For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (NLT)

Psalm 139:16 (NLT)
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

Deceived

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As I walked into Saint Thomas Academy yesterday for my client’s annual Veterans’ Day ceremony, I was greeted by the honor guard in their dress uniforms. They stood at attention lining the entryway to the school. I chuckled to myself as I passed through the line up. For a second I felt strangely important.

And then I realized that the keynote speaker, a Brigadier General in the Air Force, arrived just behind me. The show of honor from the “welcoming committee” was not intended for me but someone walking directly behind me.

It reminded me of how in Jesus day the Pharisees were the ones that society honored. They enjoyed the attention and did a lot of things to get more of it.

In Matthew 23:5 Jesus says, “’Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels. And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues. They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi.’”

It turns out they were fools, even though the people and culture of the time thought they were wise and all important. They were fools because they sought the limelight. They were fools because they hoarded the glory for themselves and failed to recognize the Son of God, the one to whom all glory is due.

Jesus’ teachings and actions contradicted all that the Pharisees said and did. He humbled himself. He associated with tax collectors and prostitutes. He was moved with compassion toward the blind, diseased, handicapped and poor. He came to serve, not to be served.

So many people missed Jesus because they were lining up to honor and listen to the Pharisees.The honor and glory of the day should have gone to the Messiah, Jesus.

Who do you honor in your life and why? Is that honor merited because they model servanthood and humility? Do you seek the attention of others? Follow Christ as your example. Humble yourself and look for opportunities to serve and not be served. You will receive your due honor from God in heaven.

Matthew 19:30: “But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.” (NLT)

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P.S. I thought the Harvest Devotional today was exceptionally good. Check it out if you have a second.

V=P+O

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Value. Everything has a value associated with it. Physical stuff has monetary value. People have value as well – as determined by ourselves or those around us.

Mike Pehrson, founder of HisClay Ministries, spoke about the pursuit of value at Alpha Sunday night. He shared the formula: V=P+O, that is, Value=Performance+Others’ Opinions of Us. We derive our value from how well we do at work or on a project and how others respond to our performance. Others assess our value based on our performance. It’s the equivalent of a person’s monetary worth.

Think about an employer-employee relationship. Your employer assigns a monetary value to you, your position and your time. It’s your salary. You perform better in your boss’s estimation, you receive a bigger raise or bonus. Your value has increased.

The inverse is also true. If we make a mistake, which we all do, our value decreases in our own eyes and the eyes of others. We get caught up in a never-ending cycle. We’re constantly pushing ourselves and creating the unrealistic expectation of perfection. The pursuit of value often leads to burnout.

What’s the answer? Changing the formula, as Pehrson did about eight years ago when he became a Christian. A day away from signing divorce papers, a coworker convinced him to give God a chance to heal his marriage and his personal drive for status and wealth. He now defines his value in Christ alone. V=Christ.

You see, Christ loves us no matter what we’ve done or what we will do. He doesn’t care how much money is in our bank account. We don’t need a bigger house, a newer car or more well-behaved children to be of greater value to Christ. His love for us never falters. Our value is worth more than Jesus’ own human life. How can any worldly pursuit be more valuable than that?

If you’re tired of the rat race, get off the treadmill. Stop seeking approval from others and look to Jesus for your value. Put him first in your life.

Matthew 6:33: Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (NLT)

November 14th, 2009
HISCLAY FATHER/SON/DAUGHTER BREAKFAST EVENT
“Lean On Me”

Speaker: Paul Molitor
Former Gopher Great & Major League Baseball Hall of Famer

Location: Holiday Inn
Lakeville, MN
Time: 7:00 am – 9:00 am
Full breakfast served.
Cost: $20 per person (pay at door)

Life from Light

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Did you notice? Did you feel it? October 2009 was the dreariest on record in Minnesota, according to an article in the Star Tribune. The sun shone less last month than any other October. Stores selling sun boxes may have liked it but few others did. People were crabby and tired – gloomy like the weather.

November is off to a far better start. This weekend was beautiful! Abundant sunshine and temperatures in the 60s. It seems we were all in good moods (well, except for maybe that cashier at Target on Friday – boo!). We took to our outdoor activities — clinging to the sun and warmth like a shy toddler affixed to his mother’s leg.

As I write this, I’ve situated myself directly in the sunlight pouring through my south-facing patio door. The laptop is propped on my outstretched legs, and I’m soaking in all the rays I can get. It feels so good. It’s therapeutic. I’m beaming just like the sun.

Light is life-giving emotionally and physically. Our bodies convert the sunlight on our skin into vitamin D, which helps ease depression and strengthens our bones. Without sunlight, we are likely to be moody, as evident by our dispositions during October.

Spiritually, we can walk in darkness as well. Without Christ, the Light of the world, we are also prone to depression and a search for purpose. John 1:4: “Life itself was in him, and this life gives light to everyone. The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” He brings light into our darkest places, bringing healing and forgiveness where humanly it may not be possible. This light gives us strength to persevere through tough times. It brings hope into despair. When the Light of God comes into your life, it’s like sunbeams bursting directly into your heart and putting a spring into your step.

John 8:12: Jesus said to the people, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t be stumbling through the darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”

With Jesus lighting our way, we tend to make better decisions. When we put him at the center of our lives, we get a new perspective on priorities. We live life differently — in a way that others notice. They see the positive changes in us and wonder why we’ve changed. They may even want what we have.

Matthew 5:14-15: “You are the light of the world – like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don’t hide your light under a basket! Instead put it on a stand and let it shine for all.”

Sometimes, we as Christians don’t live like we have the light of Christ in us. We worry. We are crabby and depressed. We act just like non-Christians. It’s easy to get pulled into our culture that conditions us to these behaviors. We may fall back into our old ways because they feel comfortable or normal. Just to be accepted, we may compromise our beliefs and values.

Compromise works in some relationships but not in our relationship with God. With Christ at the center of our lives, we can truly experience his life-giving light that helps us to overcome societal pressures and the tendency to compromise. Come to the light. Leave the darkness behind. Let the light of Jesus shine in and through you to experience life to its fullest.

Where might you be compromising your beliefs and values to gain acceptance from friends, family, or co-workers? With whom do you tend to be silent about your faith when God may be prompting you to speak out? How can you soak in the light of Christ today to sense the hope and peace found only in him?

Great Discipline

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Prayer doesn’t come easy to me.

There, I said it. I admit I am challenged to spend focused time in prayer. And yet, I know that prayer is a central discipline in the lives of all the great spiritual leaders. It is how people have the strength and courage to endure trials. Through prayer, God gives us peace, direction in decisions and lets us know his love for us. I want all those things and know that prayer is the medium to get them, and yet I struggle.

I do pray, don’t get me wrong. I realize though that more focus in my prayer time and more of it will help me grow closer to God. It’s just like focused, quality time draws spouses or friends closer. It’s in that quality time that God changes, softens our hearts. Jesus didn’t do anything that God didn’t instruct him to do. We should follow that example.

I have read repeatedly “Too Busy Not to Pray” by Bill Hybels. He makes the case for why we should pray, sharing examples of how God has answered prayers and how he personally grew in the discipline of prayer. He gives tips on how to pray. Great content. Every time I read it, my prayer life is inspired again. I think it’s time to read it again.

So, for starters, I will pray that God will help me set aside my busyness and my pride that says I don’t need God’s help with the details of my life. I will make an appointment with God in my schedule and stick to it just like I do my business meetings. He blesses our efforts. I see that now that I’ve begun writing regularly. (See Do Something!) So in this too, I need to just do something and he will meet me there.

If you’re where I am when it comes to prayer, I suggest checking out Hybels book. And these quotes may be inspiring as well.

John 8:28: So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man on the cross, then you will understand that I Am he. I do nothing on my own but say only what the Father taught me.

Cultivating Contentment

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It all started innocently. A simple email from a friend popped up on my phone when I was riding Ernie yesterday. The subject line said: “Thought of you.” How sweet.

Opening the email, I discovered my realtor friend had sent an MLS listing of a hobby farm for sale not too far from my barn. She knows I dream of having a hobby farm some day and every so often she sends me listings she thinks may be worth a look. Instantly my dream came screaming to the forefront of my mind again. It happens about once a year.

My imagination went to work. “If this hobby farm is in foreclosure, I could get a good deal. If there’s one hobby farm in foreclosure, there must be others.” Well, at my first quiet moment (10:30 p.m.), I started searching listings. I looked at all the pretty pictures. I started assessing which had existing pastures or had the best potential for pastures. By midnight, I had printed out information on about six hobby farms and reviewed the listings of several others. I even shot an email off to my friend asking her to check into one of them for me. I started making a mental list of work to be done on my house if I were to sell it.

WHOA! is all I can think this morning. It doesn’t take much to get carried away, does it?

There is nothing wrong with dreaming, I rationalize. In some cases though, there is. You see, dreaming of (coveting) material possessions — an ipod (another burning desire of mine), a new trailer, a faster horse, a bigger house — or even the immaterial — a more attentitive spouse, a better job, a smaller body size — fosters discontent in our lives. Desiring these things causes us to focus on what is wrong with our lives rather than what is great about our lives. We fall into a pattern of comparing ourselves, our lives and our material possessions to others. It may cause us to question God’s ability to provide, or worse, his love for us.

I can go another day without an ipod (sorry, Apple) and so many other things. I have more than enough stuff to occupy my mind and my time. As for the hobby farm, that’s in God’s hands. Through prayer, he will reveal to me when the time is right. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts — if they’re what’s best for us. Maybe this is the year for that dream. Until he shows me that it is, I am perfectly content with my house. It’s the right size for me. It’s warm and comfortable. And, I don’t have to worry about doing horse chores twice a day through winter for at least one more year. I’m thankful for my house and so many other things that make up my life of simple abundance.

Luke 12:15: “Then he said, ‘Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.’” (NLT)

1 Timothy 6:6-8: “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” (NLT)

Ecc. 6:9: “Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless—like chasing the wind.” (NLT)