I was a reserve officer in a Sheriff’s mounted patrol for a few years. Each year, Ernie and I went through qualifying exercises to make sure he wouldn’t spook around balloons, strollers, squad cars, guns, etc.; and could navigate a wide array of obstacles.

Ernie was most challenged by backing through wood posts shaped in an “L” (next to weaving the odorous and sparkling flares.) (Horses have a blind spot behind them, so backing up isn’t always comfortable.) We spent hours practicing this manuever. At times, we battled with both of us frustrated and angry, losing all desire to please the other. All I wanted him to do was complete the task. All he wanted to do was go eat. We certainly were not enjoying each other at those moments.

Relationships vs. Tasks
Yesterday, sitting in the Healthy Relationships class at my church, I realized that I do this in my human relationships as well. I was convicted as I thought about my “honey-do” list for my boyfriend. He and I don’t see each other but once a week and rather than spend time with him, I put him to work around my house. Gee, I wonder why I feel like we don’t get quality time together?

In my type-A world, there’s always something to be done. One more project to cross off the to-do list. I’m not one for small talk and socializing, particularly when there’s a job to do. Unfortunately, that means at times I blow right by people’s needs and feelings, for the sake of the next project to complete. I get frustrated when people are pokey or not available on my timeline. I sacrifice rich relationships for activity. I know God would rather it be the other way around.

Jesus as our Example
Jesus made time for people even when it wasn’t convenient. He was often on his way somewhere when he healed someone. After getting the news of John the Baptist’s beheading, Jesus went away to mourn in private. A crowd of 5,000 followed him. He didn’t send them away but rather had compassion on them, taught them and fed them. (See Matthew 14.)

Eternal Perspective
Fulfilling relationships and moments require us to be engaged, present to others. We need to maintain perspective that the person is much more important than the task – an eternal perspective. What do you accomplish if you complete a project but destroy a relationship? So my shower drain is fixed. Was it worth the sacrifice of connection?

Long-term fulfillment comes from relationships. Not in stuff. Not in work. Not in accomplished projects. Maintaining an eternal perspective can really help us prioritize.