There are times when I’m riding that Ernie he wants to trot when I really want or need him to walk. I pull back on the reins to signal for him to go slower. It works for a few steps until I release the pressure on the bit by giving him more rein. When he resumes his trot, I pull back on the reins again. This pattern continues until I decide the only remedy is to maintain a tight grip on the reins and not release the pressure.

Battle of Wills
Generally what ensues is a battle of wills. My attempts to control him through bit pressure cause him to get nervous and frustrated, and work up an unnecessary sweat. Sometimes he tosses his head to see if he can yank the reins out of my hands and release the pressure. He’s usually prancing by this point. And I’m incredibly frustrated.

How often do we encounter the same battle of wills with people in our lives or life circumstances? The more we try to control others, the more tense our relationships become. People aren’t to be controlled and holding tightly to their reins will result in anger, disagreements, resentment and broken relationships. The more we try to control uncontrollable events and circumstances, the more anxious we can become.

Learning as I Go
I’m trying to sell my house right now. It’s unnerving for me because I can’t control the situation. I can’t make someone buy my house. I don’t know if a buyer will come this week or next or a month from now. Where will I move once the house sells? I don’t know that either. It feels like my life is in limbo and that doesn’t sit well with me. It’s as if I tried to ride Ernie without a bridle and bit, or even a lead rope and halter. (I’m no Stacy Westfall and Ernie isn’t very trainable at 24.)

While counterintuitive, sometimes the best thing I can do when Ernie and I are vying for control is to drop the reins and relax. When he feels me relax, he does the same. Eventually he settles back into a walk. The same is true for life circumstances. The best thing we can do is to let go of control and trust God with the outcome and the timing. The sooner we learn this, the sooner we will have peace in our lives. With my house situation, I feel like I’m free falling. But I have to trust that God will catch me or I will be a basket case.

What or who in your life do you try to control? Why do you try to control it/them? What’s one small step you can take today to loosen your grip on the reins?

1 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT): [Love] does not demand its own way.

Ecclesiastes 7:13 (NLT): Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked?