(OK, I realize that headline probably took a few people by surprise – probably none more surprised than my boyfriend – but read on and it will make sense.)
Having never been married, I used to feel rejected by society. I sometimes felt I was not worthy of being married and thought no one could ever love me to that extent. It’s pathetic and yet painful to write those words even now. It used to bring tears to my eyes to express my opinion of “forever single” as the ultimate rejection.
Doused in God’s Love
At the Water of Life retreat, as I dredged up long-buried feelings of rejection, self-hatred, manipulation and soul ties, I felt doused in God’s abundant, unfailing love. All weekend the speakers shared scripture and examples of God’s love for us. I had heard it all before but I heard it with fresh ears this time.
God as My Husband
Verses about God being our bridegroom and our husband stood out. We, the church, his people, are his bride. That means me. Even if everyone in this world rejects me, even if I never marry, I will never by rejected or abandon by God.
Isaiah 54:4-5: “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame.
Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.
You will no longer remember the shame of your youth
and the sorrows of widowhood.
For your Creator will be your husband;
the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name!
He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
the God of all the earth.
Wedding Elise & Frank 1 from baliartphotography.com
Hosea 2:19-20: I will make you my wife forever,
showing you righteousness and justice,
unfailing love and compassion.
I will be faithful to you and make you mine,
and you will finally know me as the Lord.
Spousal Relationship
That got me thinking…if God is my husband, do I treat him as such? Does my relationship with him resemble that of two people, husband and wife?
Now, having never been married, I can only surmise what a healthy marriage relationship might be like. (I stress healthy.) If God is my husband, I should share everything with him – my darkest secrets (he already knows them), my deepest fears (he know those, too), and my dreams (he gave them to me).
Even though he knows all these things already, I should still talk to him about them. I should share my disappointments and my excitement with him – the highs and lows. Do you talk to God as frequently as you talk to your spouse or significant other throughout the day? I should be fully present and attentive in my discussions with God. How often do we mumble a prayer while folding laundry, cooking dinner or mowing the lawn? Would you have a meaningful conversation with anyone while you’re doing those things? Do your heart and your thoughts turn to God throughout your day as they might a spouse? If you’re single, how do you feel about the idea of God as your spouse?
Be present. Be respectful. Be reverent. Love him back. Thank him for his kind heart. His compassion. His sacrifices and the way he faithfully protects and provides just like a husband would for a wife.
I look at my relationship with God differently now. Here’s the best part: as I trust in Him as much or even more than an earthly husband, he fills me with peace.
Isaiah 26:3: You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
Love it, Amy! Outstanding.