I was in denial. I saw the signs but subconsciously chose to ignore them. And then, one after another, people voiced that which I denied.

“You don’t seem to have that peace you’ve had in the past.”

“I sense frustration surrounding you.”

“You’re not trusting God.”

Losing Sight
In the past several months, I’ve been consumed by to-do lists and planning for and then moving. Ever so gradually, the activity caused me to take my eyes off from the Source of strength and peace.

Grapes by by Zest-pk

Staying Attached to the Vine
Writing this blog has become a challenge in the past few weeks. I thought because I was busy. The truth is, it’s been hard because I’ve lost my focus. I’ve not stayed attached to the vine as John 15 instructs us:

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:1-5 (NLT)

It’s true that the closer I am to Jesus, the more fruitful my life is in every regard. My relationships are more enjoyable and peace-filled. My work seems less laborious and more fun. I’m more productive. And writing is a breeze because my heart and mind are fixed on Jesus and where he’s leading me. He gives me ideas and illustrations, and I long to write because it’s when I’m closest to him (except when I’m out with Ernie). It seems I have an endless stream of topics to share. I love it.

Pruning
This season in my life has truly been one of pruning. And, naturally, it doesn’t feel good. We tend to turn from the painful or the uncomfortable and I’m no different. Rather than causing me to bear more fruit, I feel like the pruning is bringing out the worst in me. Perhaps because I’m just in the midst of it? I hope and pray that this season of pruning will cause me to be a better person in the long run. I trust that God that it will.

So, if you’ve missed my more frequent posts, now you know why. If you’ve sensed uneasiness in my spirit, your assessment is accurate. But I’m on my way back. I’ve recognized that my separation from the vine is causing me heartache and stressing everything and every relationship in my life.

Draw Near
I’m off to spend the afternoon wandering with God, wandering wherever He leads. I trust His word that says, “Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.” (James 4:8-9)

I’ve been humbled, now’s the time to draw near. I’m curious, how do you draw near to God? When you’re feeling far from God, what draws you back toward Him?

If you would, please pray that my faith would be renewed and that I would stay attached to the vine consistently. And because I don’t say it enough, thank you for spending some time with me, whether this is your first time or your 100th time here. I appreciate you and thank God for you.