As a dear friend nears death, those of us who will say goodbye are bewildered and heart broken. We know that we must go on living, however hard it may be. More importantly, we know we must go on living together. Continue reading
Tag Archives: trials
A Call to Praise
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At 42, we’re suppose to be having mid-life crises right now, not end-of-life discussions Continue reading
Plans Derailed
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It was just a short exchange between one friend and another on a Facebook wall: “What the heck. We were suppose to be getting pedicures!”
It’s Been Bumpy
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Everything has been a challenge lately. It never occurred to me that I was under attack. Satan, I have news for you…You won’t win. Continue reading
Skepsis Week 5: Why Does God Allow Suffering?
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Pain, heartache and suffering are universal and inescapable. Our definition of suffering may change as we age but it’s a fact that we will never escape it. Suffering and seemingly catastrophic events cause us to question faith. Where was God amidst Japan/Haiti earthquakes? During 9-11? The presence of suffering is the number one reason why people do not believe in God. Continue reading
Perspective on Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami
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Even in the midst of horrible events such as the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, we need to remember God is in control. We certainly do not understand why things like this happen and why so many people suffer and die. We must trust there is a purpose beyond our mortal comprehension. Continue reading
Enjoying the Season
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Yep, we’re tired of winter. The snow. The cold. The unfavorable driving conditions. And we love to complain about it all.
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Unanswered questions
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In the spirit of the Skepsis course, I’m reposting a related devotion. I hope you enjoy. (c) 2009, Amy S. Lewis There are so many mysteries with Ernie. Why does he chomp on his bit or flap his lip when … Continue reading
Repost: Loving Through Our Pain
This repost is in honor of my dear friend Kristin, who had to put down her beloved Chufa yesterday. Kristin, you’re not alone. We love you and mourn with you. May the peace and comfort of God surround you.
(c) Amy S. Lewis, 2009
It’s a dreaded time in a horse owner’s life – choosing to put down a beloved horse. It’s an emotional tug of war between sparing a horse from ongoing pain and sparing herself the pain of life without the horse. It’s difficult to know you’re taking a life; overwhelming sadness consumes her.
I received an email early one morning from a friend. She was putting her horse down that day. He had a serious neurological disorder that affected his muscles and caused him to collapse mid-stride. In a follow-up note the next day, she advised me to never walk that road alone. She brought her horse to the vet by herself and it was agonizing.
My friend had a choice. She didn’t have to put her horse down. But it was the humane thing to do. Going alone, she could have easily turned the truck around and gone home. There was no one that was going to hold her accountable if she did. But she didn’t retreat. She made the tough – right – choice.
Christ also had a choice. He didn’t have to die on the cross for us. He could’ve spared himself the pain. But it was the humane thing for him to do – to spare us of eternal suffering. It was agonizing for him. In Matthew 26:38, Jesus said, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.”
He too walked the road alone. Matthew 26:56b says, “At that point, all the disciples deserted him and fled.” And yet, he continued to follow God’s will, God’s plan for our salvation. He knew that the wages of sin was death (Romans 6:8) and that his death would cover our sin. We would be spared our due punishment because he chose to walk the road to Calvary alone.
When you’re facing difficult times and feeling alone, remember that Christ sees your pain and he’s felt it, too. Lean on him for strength, knowing that he is with you always. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He sees every tear that falls.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV): “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Matthew 5:4 (NIV): “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Questions for reflection:
- Do you believe that God comforts those who mourn? Why or why not? How have you felt his comfort in your grief?
- What difficult situation do you face today that fills you with grief? How can you invite God into your pain?
- What Christian friend could you look to for support in your difficulty? Who may God have put in your path to help you through your trial? Will you seek them out today?
Desolation
The wind whips across the back pasture, spinning the snow into small cyclones and leaving behind crests and valleys. Last summer’s weeds are bent beneath the snow with stray blade poking through. The towering oaks are stripped naked. An occasional cluster of leaves bounce across the top of the crusty snow. From my view, there’s no life. It looks uninhabitable. Stark. Frigid.
Sadly, this is sometimes the condition of my heart as well. Desolate. Cold. Empty. Barren. There’s a yearning for more – to be filled up spiritually.
It’s a dark night of the soul.
We intellectually know God is present and active in our lives and yet his silence is as eerie as the wind-whipped field. His absence as stark as the fallow pasture. Bible study and prayer seem as routine and stimulating as brushing our teeth. We’re going through the motions and even that requires a major effort to continue.
Like the pasture out my back window, eventually spring will come to my heart. New life will appear. The hard ground will thaw and the snow will melt. God will bring restoration.
If only the end of this dark night were as predictable as the end of winter.
Question: If you’ve faced a dark night of the soul, how have you seen yourself through it? What did you experience on the other side?

